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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Reflections of a young man who feels old. (Or "A narcissist's rambling")

Everything was a blur. The trees passed by me and it took all of the focus at my disposal to not to run right in to one. I could smell blood, and the dizziness that was overtaking me meant that it was most likely mine. I wanted to pass out. I wanted to fall asleep and never wake back up. I shook the thoughts from my head and focused on running from the furious thing chasing me. 

Why did I wait until night?

I tripped on a root that was running along the ground in front of me and fell on my back with a pained gasp. I held my side and looked up just in time to catch a glance of the moon, before it was blocked by the faceless entity standing before me. His tendrils waved behind him erratically. I could feel his anger. Feel it in the very air around me. The tendrils shot forward to impale me where I laid-

I woke up before the dream got any further. I'm beginning to remember things, bits and pieces from the night that I turned Faceless down. The more I remember the more I wonder just how it is I made it out alive. But honestly I think the fact that I'm even alive today has been a combination of the people around me and just my own dumb luck.

I've always thought that I was a rather lucky individual. Even after all of this began. Everything that has happened to me up til this point has happened for a reason. At least, I would like believe that.

My family was killed or taken....but in that case it allowed me to move in with Nick and his family. We would grow closer and eventually go to Michigan State University together. There....I would meet Izzy. My Isabella. The love of my life.

I lost Nick. But in doing so I found out that Izzy, who I thought was dead was still alive. I lost my brother, my best friend, to find that out. He would later come for my life, not as dead as I had once thought. I would lose my leg....but kill him again.  I don't know why I'm going through all this again. Remembering all of it and feeling the need to type it all out. So please bare with my rambling.

Throughout this journey I've taken, I have lost much. But I have also gained a few things.

I've gained many great friends. Whom I have been very fortunate to meet.

Wolf: Where do I even start? You saved me from my own ignorance, taught me so much about the world I live in now. The path I walk. You didn't even need too. There was nothing you could gain from helping me. But you did. You're probably the reason I'm alive today. You called yourself a monster all the time. I never saw you that way. You had told me that by helping you were being selfish. You were helping because you could not save another. You're sunshine you called him. But I never cared for your reason. It didn't matter. To me you weren't selfish. You weren't what you said. Even if you were.....you were kind to me. That's all that mattered to me. I'll live out the rest of my days in a way that would have made you proud. Rest in peace, my dear friend.

Fell: We had a rough start, you and I. I could tell from the first time we met that you didn't like me. Every other word you muttered around me was a curse. You wanted me gone from the beginning. Dead so that I couldn't cause any more trouble. It was understandable though. You cared about Wolf so deeply and I was causing her pain. Had our roles been reversed I probably would have wanted you gone as well. Maybe you still hate me? Heh, only conversing with me because Wolf kept me alive, maybe you're just taking her job of baby sitting me. Whether you hated me (or still do) or not, it was fun hanging around with you and Hart.

Hart: You suck ass at video games.

Med: The scientist, the medic, the one who gave me my leg back. You were a genius whether you acknowledged it or not. I don't know where you are, but I hope with all my heart wherever you are, you're safe and happy.

Skye: Ya little bastard you. Stop whining and man up! Go up to your Alter and kick him in the balls or something. You're supposed to take care of Alice. (and Tori even if she doesn't acknowledge it.)

Alice: Love ya, my undead darling. Coolest daughter a guy could ask for. I'll try and visit you soon, kick Skye in the shin for me would you?

Tori: I don't know you too well but you're tough so keep on moving. Keep Skye in line and please give him a kick in the shin as well. Preferably the opposite shin that Alice kicks him in.

Nick: No. Don't come anywhere near here. (wherever here is.)

I've noticed that a lot of my posts lately have sounded like the reflections of someone who's dying.

Well....I'm not. So....yeah. I'll try to post something positive next time. (If that's even possible)

9 comments:

  1. What would you do to get your friends back, Roy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fuck off! He doesn't have time for this fucking bullshit either

      Delete
    2. I wouldn't do a thing. Because even if I could bring them back I wouldn't want to bring them back to a world like this anyways.

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    3. I want to believe you. Every part of me is screaming to look more into what you are attempting but I wont. You can't kill it, I understand that at this point. It's just not possible.

      I've seen you pop up on a couple of other blogs. Stop spreading false hope.

      Delete
  2. Don't fucking worry about why I'm doing what I'm doing Roy boy, just keep going and don't be a fucking idiot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right of course. Maybe I'm looking a bit TOO much into things.

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  3. You sound like you had a horribly tough time, I'm sorry to hear that.

    But, I just wanted to ask and I'm sorry if this comes off as stupid, or mean...

    But, is this real? The blog and you. I mean, it's just that I recently had an encounter with Slenderman and well, it wasn't very pleasant. just want to find out if all of this is real, or am I going insane.

    Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've contemplated this question for a while now.

      After much thought and consideration I'm going to just say...no. It's not real. Go talk to a psychologist or something kid.

      It's for the best.

      For you.

      For me.

      For all of us.

      Delete